Tuesday, September 15, 2009
No activity detected? You are our candidate.
At many forward thinking organizations, emphasis is put on future goals and the planning necessary to meet those goals. We here at FTI are no different and are always trying to analyze our readership audience and determine the policy direction you wish for us to pursue. The Factorcrap Truthometer Deluxe has been invaluable in this task, but, ultimately we need feedback from the target audience. This year's goal of developing a network of semi-reliable associates has been met with mixed results. Gummo the Balloon Boy, Dickey the Peap, and Freako, to name a few, have provided rich discussion material. They are, however, just a small sampling of the associates that we rely on for a representative overview.
A recently discovered gadget allows us to determine the location of our readers here at FTI. So here's calling out to you Chicago, Atlanta, Modesto, Plano, Spokane, Meridian, London and Korea: We know you're out there! Tell your friends, have them visit, test to see if they qualify, and join our Wannabe Flatliners club. Post us to your Facebook and LinkedIn pages, forward our URL (http://www.flatlinethinking.blogspot.com/) to everyone in your addressbook, write us on the wall in the restroom at work! Here is a quick cut and paste template:
Hey I was thinking about you! This organization http://www.flatlinethinking.blogspot.com/ is in desperate need of talent and I thought you might be the one that can help them. They are dedicated to championing the causes of the more "forward" thinking people in today's society and I think you would be invaluable to them.
Hope this innocent act doesn't end our friendship.
There. Thats it. Pretty simple. huh? Let's see if we can add 4 more continents to cover the earth and develop a worldwide network of Flatliner wannabe's! The reader that refers the most new members will be our VIP guest at next year's summer gala. Like this past summer's blowout, you will be able to hang out with our famous IT crew that recently earned us a mandatory 2 day safety seminar from OSHA, suspension of pool privileges for the balance of the summer, and the added attention of local law enforcement. I will let you even spin in my Directors chair a couple of times and add which ever selection you make to our Friday Jukebox feature.
In reflection, as troubling as the whole summer picnic episode was, the department (and it's leader pictured above) have learned their lesson and promise to behave in a more reasonable fashion in the future.