A recent analysis of FTI employee benefits relates to an incident I share here. The CRAP (Central Research, Analysis, and Policy) vehicle suffered another small breakdown recently that it is beginning to make me think that I should perhaps turn over the responsibilities of the Institute Motorpool to a professional fleet management company.
Starting with a repeated clicking sound when the key is turned over, it was determined that a new battery might well be in order. Of course, the friendly mechanic was quick to offer up the 7 year battery life, $125 cost option, as being the most practical for the situation at hand. I reminded him that as Executive Director and Founder of the Flatline Thinking Insititute, I have had advanced training and practice in critical thinking that better reflected our mission and issued an immediate veto of his suggestion. As a result, we opted for the minimum 5 year, $75 cost, alternative battery for the CRAP vehicle.
We were thinking about offering the services of a fleet management company as an added perk to the staff at the FTI. Unfortunately, a large number of our associates would not be able to take advantage of this benefit due to stunted cognitive and reasoning abilities preventing them to drive most types of vehicles in the first place. After exhaustive independent analysis and breakout sessions with our staff, we have now focused our energies on finding a company that specializes in high risk insurance policies. I'm sure we would qualify for a group discount.
If you were not so cheap You would have purchased the correct battery rather than trying to start the Crap Mobile with two aaa batteries. As has been said "It takes a Cheap to know a Cheap. I am cheap, you are Really Cheap.
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