Wednesday, September 28, 2011

That's a good number

My faith in the legal system has been restored. Somewhat.

The ongoing FTI Dopes Trial is slowly winding down. At a hearing yesterday, the judge awarded the good guys a base amount of $118,000 plus some other fees to be determined in 2 weeks. The reason for the ambiguity is that our lawyer, Shifty, submitted a bill of over $170,000 which was objected to by the other side. Of course, both sides have to argue back and forth, which does nothing but make the lawyers richer, but, hey, that's the way the game is played. Regardless, it is significantly more than I thought we would ever receive and certainly more than Shifty thought we would get.

It's one thing to be awarded money. It's another thing to collect it. In the end, though, I think we are going to come out of this OK. I may have to wait a bit, but, the judgment does come with a 12% interest charge tacked on it as well.

I've waited 3 years for justice. I think I am beginning to see it rise over the hilltop. It's a good day.

Monday, September 26, 2011

What's going on here?

Gas Prices are down.

Osama bin Laden is Dead.

Women can now vote and run for office in Saudi Arabia.

And I was awarded attorney's fees in the FTI Dopes Trial.

Why don't I feel things are good right now?

Sunday, September 25, 2011

It's Sunday Brunch

Hey c'mon, it's Sunday and I am tired.   We get a day off too, you know, so,  I'm taking the staff out to Brunch. Every time one of the Misfits say, do, or think something stupid, they have to put a dollar in the jar. We call it our Brunch fund. And as far as I can forecast, there's going to be a lot of Sunday meals.

Just like Sunday Brunch, most of the stuff here is overvalued, pre-cooked, and have already been sneezed on  by some snotty 6 year old kid.  But, go ahead:  take a look here and see if any of these days old items are to your liking.  Like most places, our admonishments are the same:  "Take as much as you want, read all that you take".

See you tomorrow.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

My Wall Street experience

Among the myriad of pieces of mail received here at the FTI compound are the usual anonymous hate letters, mistaken notices of pending eviction, solicitations/testimonials for curing male pattern baldness, and the like. One interesting piece did come through yesterday that is an actual godsend.

Nearly 10 years ago, I took a small position in  some Washington Mutual stock and sold it a couple of years later resulting in a small profit.  Thinking that my stock picking prowess was better than most, I decided a bit later to get back in and bought 200 shares to make some more money off of this "winner".   Previously priced in the high $40 range, I got in at a mere $2 a share, this thing is going to go up!   Of course, this decision was made in September of 2008, a mere month before the total collapse and forced insolvency of Washington Mutual.   It was highly speculative and I knew it.  I got greedy and gambled and lost.  Game over.

Now, yesterday, I receive 30 pages of small print explanation explaining that I am eligible for some compensation due to a class action lawsuit that was filed alleging fraud and mismanagement.  Thinking that, by golly, I might recover some of my lost  $800+  investment, I started to wade through all of the gibberish.  Buried deep in the middle of the brochure was the statement that at this time no one knows what the participation rate of past losers investors will be, but, I could probably expect to recover $ .07 a share. $ .07 measly cents!  Immediately springing into action based on my longtime observation of our resident stock picker and investment guru, Dickey the Peap, I  realized that this $14 windfall was simply free money waiting to be claimed and I would be foolish to simply ignore this opportunity to cash in.  I have dutifully filled out all of the necessary paperwork and am scheduled to mail it this morning.

My confusion over this incident stems from the fact that we here at FTI had, in fact, been discussing issuing our own IPO to raise additional capital.  With our pending $14 cash infusion slated to arrive anywhere within the next 12-14 months, I have developed a budget that should negate our need to go  public.    No public oversight, no unnecessary SEC regulations, no mad shareholders.  Just the same bunch of idiots.

The liquidation sale beings next Tuesday.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

It's Sunday Brunch

Hey c'mon, it's Sunday and I am tired.   We get a day off too, you know, so,  I'm taking the staff out to Brunch. Every time one of the Misfits say, do, or think something stupid, they have to put a dollar in the jar. We call it our Brunch fund. And as far as I can forecast, there's going to be a lot of Sunday meals.

Just like Sunday Brunch, most of the stuff here is overvalued, pre-cooked, and have already been sneezed on  by some snotty 6 year old kid.  But, go ahead:  take a look here and see if any of these days old items are to your liking.  Like most places, our admonishments are the same:  "Take as much as you want, read all that you take".

See you tomorrow.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

"Laaaaadies and Gentlemen, It's time for our Main Event!"



Last night, I watched a 2 hour documentary tracing the history of Wrestling from the late 1800's to it's present form.  Starting out once as an exhibition of strength, balance, and athleticism, wrestling has involved into a form of entertainment for it's customers.  The actual activity has moved from one of an athletic event to a type of soap opera with a complete cast of characters including good, evil, pretty boys, and the like.    As spoken by one of the players, "If you don't believe it, there is no explanation possible.  If you do believe it, no explanation is needed."

I can relate to this whole situation as we here at FTI have the same type of scenario occurring.  My role is like that of a promoter: hyping, exhorting,  and trying to keep some sort  of semblance of order on the whole circus while acting as if everything is normal around me.  The illusion of chaos is simply your mind playing tricks on you.

My problem, however, is that we are missing any of the good guys.  Oh sure, we've got plenty of "heels" (wrestling slang for the bad characters):  Gummo, the Balloon Boy;  Rat Bastard G, the Green Comic, Slateface, etc.  Dickey the Peap might come closest to personifying good, but  I think he is re-inventing himself into the alter ego of Cheapo, the Magnificent.

I think I will just make sure that I replace the metal folding chairs with soft pillows at our FTI conference table.  It would seem to be a bit safer.  

Monday, September 12, 2011

Let's get the man on the Street's perspective

A couple of weekend observations:
  • I don't think the  FTI Dopes Trial will ever end.  This past Thursday the judge postponed, again, for 2 weeks, a hearing to determine costs due to me and my fellow plaintiffs.  Though disappointed, I am not surprised.  The efficiency of the court system in our country today is very poor.  Never, ever, ever get involved with the court system if you can avoid it.  It is expensive, time consuming, and ultimately, wasteful.      
  • Be careful when bidding any outside craftsman work on your behalf by outside tradespeople.  I had the chance to observe an exclusive behind-the-scenes look into the sordid, tawdry, world of bidding practices as described by our own Dickey the Peap over the weekend.  I am finalizing the editing and compilation of hidden camera recordings detailing in his own words the gouging, manipulation, and outright shyster-like tactics employed by the little miser foisted upon unsuspecting senior citizens, neighbors, and inexperienced homeowners when   offering to do work on their behalf.  The details will be explosive, the fees outrageous.  One viewing of this video will convince most people that the Saturday Do It Yourself clinic at the Home Depot is time well spent.  
  • I know better, but, I don't want to believe it:  Fall is on it's way.  Both weekend days were mid-90 degree days, but, by 8:15 pm, it is pitch black out and the nights are cooling substantially.  I like the change of seasons.  I just got cheated out of summer and now it is already leaving.  That kind of sucks.    
I call 'em as I see 'em.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

It's post Dickey the Peap Sunday

Hey c'mon, it's "post Dickey the Peap" Sunday and I am tired.   We get a day off too, you know.  I had to argue, wheedle, plead, and beg the little miser to pony up a couple of dollars while visiting yesterday to pay for Sunday brunch once in a while.    All to no avail.

Just like Sunday Brunch, most of the stuff here is overvalued, pre-cooked, and have already been sneezed on  by some snotty 6 year old kid.  But, go ahead:  take a look here and see if any of these days old items are to your liking.  Like most places, our admonishments are the same:  "Take as much as you want, read all that you take".

See you tomorrow.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Will this ever end?

OK, today is payday.  Or so, I think.

The continuing saga of the FTI Dopes trial is supposed to draw to a close today with  a hearing of determination of attorney  costs owed to me from the idiot developer.  His hard headedness (is that a word?) over this entire episode has cost nothing but a bunch of money, but now, it is turning into his responsibility.  I was in the courtroom last week when the judge scheduled today's prospective hearing and, yet, his attorney now is objecting on the grounds of insufficient notice.  Insufficient notice?!  Were you not there, lady?   Of course, everything in the law has to be in a written form and I am wondering if Shifty missed by one day the formal delivery of letter notifying the other attorney of this hearing.

Once again, chalk this episode up to another in the"Why I Hope I Am Never Involved With The Legal System In The United States Ever Again", file.    

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Some Milestone Day reflections

Today is my Birthday,
I'm gonna have a good time,
I say it's my birthday,
Happy birthday to me.


After about 8 years of age, birthdays don't mean much to most people.  I am like most people.  It's just another day.  I do pause though to reflect on my life to this point. 

To date, I am thankful and blessed to have:

1) Good Health,
2) A loving wife, successful children,  and a supportive extended family,
3) Some Great friends,
4) A job I like,
5) and satisfaction in my life to date.

On the other hand,  I am sorry I didn't: 

1) Go to college,
2) Attempt to at least try to meet the goal of when I was a four year old and become a railroad engineer,
3) Have the courage to tell some people to stick it up their ass when I was wronged (that's another story),
4) Walk away from bidding one more time on Ebay when acquiring the Factorcrap Truthometer Deluxe.

Had I done so on  point #4 above, I wouldn't be in the middle of this rinky-dink Instititute I currently run. 

Oh, how life deals us such strange circumstances. 
 
 

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Hailing all frequencies!

I just received word that the Green Comic has not suffered the same fate as Jimmy Hoffa.

While conducting our normal morning roll call yesterday morning, I noted that the Green Comic and a couple of other members of the Doofus Squad were nowhere to be found.  We had received no request for an excused absence, nor, noted an records here at the FTI infirmary of any unexpected medical emergencies. Knowing that the leader of any of the absent dimwits would be Green because he is the only one with the ability to tie his shoes,  I  immediately  suspected that perhaps he had met with the same fate as the union boss of the 70's because of the powerful enemies he has offended over the years; Grandmothers, legitimate comedians, and  paper clips.   Instead, Green, the Rat Bastard G, and Gummo, the Balloon Boy had all decided to take an early Labor Day holiday and went on a 5 day camping trip that coincided  with my recent camping trip.  Thus, their absence was not recognized.  (The fact that they provide no useful contributions on a regular basis should not be discounted, either.)   After repeated phone calls, police welfare checks, the scouring of local homeless animal shelters, and a thorough search of the Walmart garbage bins, I finally received a call from  Green explaining the absence.   I reminded him of our extended leave policy here at FTI and received assurances none of this would ever happen again.  Regardless, we are at full strength and gearing up for the fall kickoff and upcoming FTI membership drive.

It looks to be a slow fall.