I had lunch yesterday with one of our inspirational affiliates, Dickey the Peap. Dickey has indirectly contributed to some of the thinking here at Flatline, but unfortunately, has suffered for years from “alligator arm syndrome”, a paralyzing disability that prevents him from willingly to reach for the check in social settings. This disability, however, in no way prevents him from providing subject materials that can be more fully explored here. It is sad, though, to realize a close friend is slowly gaining weight at other’s expense.
He has been able to successfully hide the embarrassment of this debilitating disease by various methods of deception and concealment. Among some of his methods of compensation include the statement, “I don’t remember, but, I think it’s your turn to buy” and “Remember when you said, "Next time, it’s my treat." Well, this is that next time.” Furthering research indicates this disease can be beat by paying more often, however, this case is one of the most severe that the research staff has ever encountered. We have sadly accepted the diagnosis that he will never get better, but, will continue to exist at his present level of functioning.
Like one of our other affiliates, Rat Bastard G, Dickey is an inspiration to all that know him and doesn’t allow this dreaded disease to stop him from engaging in any eating or drinking activity, whatsoever. We are proud to count him as a contributing colleague that also meets our diversity goal of inclusion of handicapped individuals on the FTI team of thinkers.
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