The recognition and mention of this site yesterday by Nancy, a nice lady and author on her own wonderful blog, has caused a problem that I am feverishly trying to address while I write this. While appreciative of her raising our existence among the reading community, there is a new challenge that needs to be addressed.
This lady graciously noted that our site was "off the wall in a beautiful way". Initially, we welcomed this recognition and felt positive about it. After all, I manage this site for 3 reasons: 1) I enjoy writing, 2) I like to entertain others, and 3) to gainfully employ our various thickheaded staff members who would be nothing more than unemployment statistics if they weren't involved here. Come on, could you imagine Gummo the Balloon Boy, Dicky the Peap, or Freako Deako working at your place of employment? It's best they are together here at FTI; it's kind of like a stray pound for the weak-minded members of my community. Anyway, back to the problem.
A couple of these deep-thinking individuals decided they alone were responsible for our success and that perhaps their abilities would be compensated at a higher level at a competitive thinking organization and announced they were leaving immediately unless we could come up with more dough. Privately thinking, "Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out", but, befitting my professional demeanor as Executive Director here at the Institute, I reminded them of the previous difficulties in dealing with our cheap assed Board of Directors, that my hands were tied financially, and we couldn't afford any more compensation. I told them I was sad to see them go, but, would not want to stand in the way of their future success and wished them well in their new endeavors. (Truthfully, however, I would be eager to jettison any one of these knuckleheads, let alone 2 on the same day; and was secretly thrilled that I would now have two less problem children to deal with and did my own private, happy dance once out of viewing range of the rest of our staff.)
At the end of the business day yesterday, I received a phone call from the county probation supervisory office informing me that these 2 were not eligible to move elsewhere. Additionally, their office, too, had become aware of the recognition bestowed upon us, and figured if we could gain this type of notoriety with the staff we had assembled, perhaps one more loser would really put us on the map! We have worked so hard to erase the reputation of the Institute serving as a dumping ground for society's weirdos, whackos, and misfits. Now, I have to determine how to raise the level of thinking and policy analysis currently produced to a level that any new reader would want to come here and view, let alone re-visit on a regular basis with an additional whackjob on staff.
In closing, to all of our new visitors and friends, welcome. Take 15 minutes, look around, and explore some of the past postings. We're here 6 days a week; from simple life observations to cutting edge analysis as interpreted by the staff to the Friday Jukebox, we try to have fun along the way. I guarantee you will leave thinking, "Boy, I'm glad I'm not in that guy's shoes". And finally, a large "thanks" to my new friend, Nancy. Let me return the favor someday. Like, whenever you are ready to wind down your blog. I can loan out some of our staff. They can reduce your readership immediately. And end it in a week.