Monday, November 2, 2009

There's one born every minute


While conducting our weekly counseling session with Gummo the Balloon Boy this morning, I unhappily found out we share a common trait, something I most definitely try to conceal from everyone. Gummo is a good person, but, as a member of our thinktank personnel, he definitely possesses and exhibits thinking tendencies that would be classified as well, "odd". To share any sort of mental similarity with this individual is troubling.

It turns out that Gummo has been selected as a winner of a British National Online lottery. Amazingly enough, I just found out this morning that the Institute has also been bestowed this high honor and privilege! That means, that combined with our past 2 lucky random foreign lottery selections, the Institute stands to collect somewhere in the range of $10 Million US Dollars! Imagine what kind of good we could do with that type of infusion of cash.

Though exhausted with excitement and anxious for the presentation of funds, I do temper my enthusiasm with the realization that if Gummo has also won, the fix is definitely in. After all, Gummo is on a staff that was assembled as a type of mental sideshow attraction. To share this prize is one thing; to share it with one of our own, which by their own presence of being on our staff is troublesome, I realize that perhaps our similarities are not a good thing.

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We welcome your corrections, musings, and notes of sympathy. Due to the limited cognitive ability of our staff, please limit words to no higher than a fourth grade comprehension level.