Monday, November 16, 2009

No need to have your primary care guy make a referral

Marv the Neighbor passed along an interesting story that I thought I would share today. I'm sure he didn't come up with it originally, but it is kind of timely with the current healthcare debate.   If I didn't know better, I would have thought this is the type of medicine practiced around here. 

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon.

As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around, and left the room.

He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.

A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys, and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."



I've already alerted the FTI Legal department to prepare a statement should any fallout occur from the pending Jukebox selection chosen by the staff  to be revealed in 4 days.    We will be proactive on this matter. 


  1. Talk about old jokes. Are you trying to edge in on my domain? Yours truly, the "Green Comic"

  2. Interestingly enough, I had a feeling that the Green Comic, aka the Earthworm of Comedy, ("we recycle someone else's material for our own benefit") was always somewhere in the local vicinity.

    Say Green, I do point out that I didn't think that Marv the neighbor had originated this incident.

    (EDITORS NOTE: The emergence of the Green Comic to this site is troubling. The appearance and infestation of this individual should be treated as any common garden pest. Complete eradication or else he could infect the rest of our staff.)

  3. It's not the mere fact that you used an old, recycled joke. But by telling that story, you treaded on my "turf". I am at this time marking my "turf". If.. you know what I mean. Thankyou for the fourm...Green

  4. It sould had read "forum" not fourm.

  5. Thanks "Anonymous" for the clarification.

    Rather than posting as "Anonymous" in the future, however, perhaps you "sould" use your real name, Two-Fingered Joe. We're all friends here; no need to be ashamed of your typing abilities.


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