Hold it! This is too good to be true! Not once but twice, TWICE, in a lifetime does anyone ever get these types of opportunities. You see another chance has presented itself that is far too superior to pass up.
Last week, we posted about an opportunity from a banking official in Africa offering us nearly $4 Million US dollars merely by helping them transfer some hidden money out of an African bank account. Apparently, our honesty, sterling reputation, and superior, deep seated thinking skills here at the Institute are becoming to be well regarded in Africa as we have now been offered an additional opportunity in the connection of the death of another wealthy person who has hidden dollars deposited there. This time, though, we have an opportunity to share in over 9 Million US DOLLARS! Woo-hoo!
We obviously spotted the earlier solicitation as a fake as there was no proof of this person's existence or record of his money. But this one is different. The lawyer sent me this link proving the existence and subsequent death of this rich American businessman! Submitted to our staff during our weekly think-tank sessions, their summary consensus was simple: "If it exists on the internet, it must be true." The fact that this person was not married and had no children or remaining known family is insignificant. It's just more money for us.
We currently are working on the FTI pre-Christmas gift list. There are going to be some surprised affiliates in regard to the lavishness of their gifts this year. Lets' see: a new washer and dryer combo set for Dicky the Peap, a new bicycle for Gummo the Balloon Boy, Freako Deako can get another round of shock therapy; our generosity knows no limits. I always knew our efforts would become known all over the world. I never dreamed people would pay us for it, though.