The FTI IT department (the most reviled department here at FTI) recently took a break from battling the evil doers of Zoltar 7 to actually review this site and to offer some tips for improvement. One of the suggestions is that perhaps a facelift and new look are in due in order to make our site "bold". Relevant. Exciting.
Immediately recognizing the medical emergency that the team had been consuming too many Red Bull and Vodka's (Ride the Wave!), I called the FTI infirmary to arrange an immediate triage and evaluation session. Rushed to our state-of-the-art FTI medical facility, once the tub of leaches and reclaimed scalpels were cleared out of the way, it was determined that the staff were, in fact, not drunk, but rather deemed within the normal range of their cognitive abilities.
Among the suggestions made were various page elements I feel would have no appeal to our 2 valued readers including: 1) a real time 24-hour "Gummo-cam" trained on Gummo, The Balloon Boy all of the time; 2) a "Guess the Amount" contest to determine the dollar value of free meals consumed by Dickie the Peap at someone else's expense in one month's time; 3) an "Executive Director's Boredom Meter", capturing the number of yawns I experience while attending our weekly staff meeting. Though all would have some merit, I feel the scope of interest to be too narrow that would justify a new page makeover.
Regardless, I have considered the idea and plan to relaunch our new look sometime next week. As tomorrow is Green Sunday, we can explore some various scenarios and determine what would be appropriate. My goal is that it does not look like this.