The FTI facility is located in a temperate area where we have frequent rainfall. Today is the first day in 20 that we are not scheduled to have any measurable rainfall. This will be a perfect day to get outdoors and help the FTI Beautification team get the compound grounds back into shape.
Today also marks the suspension of my plans to build the FTI Ark. I truly was convinced an event of biblical proportions was about to happen as this damn rain simply will not let up. The Misfits have become increasingly concerned about their ability to get outside an splash about. When I requested the FTI engineering department to submit some design suggestions for a seaworthy vessel, I was to say the least, not overly optimistic. Headed by Dickie the Peap, our engineering department is noted for the strength, ruggedness, budget overruns, and time wasted during construction of it's engineered marvels. I specifically noted these traits in my request to them and pointed out I only wanted the first two as features of the design. 2 hours later, I received their working model: 2 old pallets lashed atop 4 discarded tires found along the interstate highway and covered by a couple of black Hefty garbage bags to act as cover. With today's sunrise, I have had additional time to consider the design (and initial idea) and have abandoned the entire notion for the time being.
I don't think the idea of an FTI Ark is without merit. Rain is scheduled to return next week, again. In my mind, the work "Ark" suggests 2 concepts: 1) a vessel of safety in an epic rainstorm; and 2) a vehicle to house pairs of all species to be preserved. As the reluctant Executive Director of FTI, my primary concern is for the attainment of the first one. The Misfits can get some inner tubes.
If you build the ark, please reconsider the two of everything part. Do we really want The Misfits breeding?
ReplyDeleteDear Marla,
ReplyDeleteConsider what you are thinking. KFRED put all these Misfits together in one compound. Only a jackass would do that. As far as biblical, KFRED is not. All he has that keeps him from being a professed Misfit is Mrs. KFRED who makes sure he takes his meds as required by his psychiatrist. So far KFRED is harmless other than trashing his dedicated staff all too often. We put up with his Napolean Complex as he is only 5' 4" tall and weighs 128 lbs. Talk about a true to life Misfit. This diminutive chap needs an engineering team for building a stool so he can reach the kitchen sink. In his defense, he is a cute little guy with big ears and a rather long proboscis. I am told he can can tap dance too. We all enjoy him in a paternal sort of way. And fear not, we will not let the little fellow down. His shining glory is the procurement of the Truthometer. He is an idiot savant when it comes to the manipulations of the dials and levers of this unique machine. He is like Jules Verne and the Nautulus. Always Loyal, Dickey the Peap.
I point out to our 2 faithful readers that the above rantings are authored by one of our own. And, therein, lies the problem.
ReplyDeleteI offer the following proof: The Peap-ed one recently witnessed a crime and was questioned by the investigating officers. Part of the standard procedure during a photo lineup of suspects is to include a "control" image in the group to verify the witness's ability to discern features. It usually is a photo of the face of a well known person (celebrity, the President, sports figure, etc.) to most that could readily be eliminated as the suspect in question. To the amazement of all, the Peap immediately identified one of the images as the guilty party and announced he would be available to testify against the same.
Based on the unyielding insistence and stubborn determination that he could not possibly be wrong, a 4-slice toaster is currently being detained pending charges.
I think I will head home now...before somebody gets hurt.
ReplyDelete