Let's review some of the damage that occurred during my absence:
1) The Friday jukebox franchise was tarnished with the playing of the 1980's Japanese science fiction commercial. I have no idea what the idiots were trying to promote or display other than the Godzilla vs. Rodan movies of the 50's may indeed have been the pinnacle of Japanese entertainment.
2) The Sunday "green " policy, so carefully tended and cultivated, was trampled and uprooted by Gummo the Balloon Boy along with a threat to "pants" a fellow staff member, "that Nancy-Boy" Dickey the Peap.
3) The Green Comic is flatout not funny.
4) The Hayward family's quiet, white picket fence, suburbia enjoying, existence and anonymity were shattered when realizing life had dealt them a cruel blow by being associated with our band of do-nothings. The stain of idiocy by association will never be cleansed. I am sorry for you.
5) This site has been characterized as a "Mommy" blog. Nothing sully's the FTI reputation for cutting edge analysis, observation, and policy direction worse than to be grouped in with writings of cupcake recipes and mini van mishaps.
An update of the staff: The two main instigators of the damage, Gummo, the Balloon Boy and Rat Bastard G, are nowhere to be found. Dickie the Peap is on the lam somewhere fearing he may lose his trousers. Freako Deako still has 20
While I was gone, I met someone whom asked how I would best describe this entire FTI episode. The best parallel I can think of is that we are something like the World Wrestling Entertainment outfit: We've got pretty boys and we have villains. We just don't have feathered boa's.