Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Order from the convenience of your own home

The cheap-assed Board of Directors notified me yesterday that they have taken it upon themselves to hire an independent, outside consultant to help them explore different ways to "raise our level of exposure" here at FTI as we move forward into the future. I have always worked under the assumption that we wanted to bring no added attention to ourselves due to the level of idiocy found here, but, apparently not. 

This clown convinced our Board to explore unique avenues that no one else has previously ever explored. One idea was to develop an on-line store of official FTI merchandise. We don't even have an official logo, and yet, we're talking about merchandise emblazoned with our name that someone would have around the house that remind them of us during use. At first glance, one would think "that's not very unique. Everyone has printed stuff. What's so special about that type of concept?" Ah, but the devil lies in the details. We're not talking about T-shirts, key chains, bookmarks, or ball caps. No. We are thinking stuff along the lines of FTI Doggy Pooper-Scoopers, FTI Chair Donuts for people whom suffer from hemorrhoid difficulty, and my favorite: an authentic, official FTI pencil,  actually previously chewed by one of our staff. Now that is a unique thing! Anyway, as any good consultant does before meeting with a new client, he did some advance research and produced a sample item I have displayed above. (I am considering my own legal challenge to this item as the use of this picture in my younger days is actually an invasion of privacy.)

Our reviled  IT Department has been given the task to set up all of the details of how people will order, pay, etc., so I don't expect anything meaningful to happen anytime soon.   If we ever do get up and going however, remember this one wise caveat:  Buyer Beware.

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