Saturday, December 12, 2009

Doing What We Do Best

Due to our position in the community, most self-respecting corporations and companies avoid any type of link or mention of their identity with us here at FTI.  As Executive Director of FTI, I understand brand imaging and am aware of the reluctance to be grouped with unsavory individuals or questionable organizations.  To date, our strenuous selection process and monitoring of the  level of incompetence, indifference, and total idiocy equal to the staff here at FTI  has never found any corporation engaging in  this type of behavior..............until now.  After an experience yesterday, however,  our first corporate affiliate has been identified as equally inept as Gummo, the Balloon Boy, Dickie the Peap, Commando Barney,  and the rest of our losers.  And that is not the recipe for a successful business model.   Ladies and Gentlemen, I introduce American Airlines.  (Earning a mention in our highly coveted "Government/Public Facility" Ineptness category is DFW Airport.  That will be explored at a later time)

While finishing up my non-Institute duties in the Dallas branch of Dilbert-land yesterday, I had an administrative person pre-print me a boarding pass to avoid the line at check-in.  Arriving 45 minutes in advance of the plane departing, I planned to go to  the desk, get the luggage tag, check the bag,  and be on my way.  Finally reaching the agent after 15 minutes of waiting,  I was informed that I was 4 minutes late in checking my bag and as a result, I could board, but, the bag would be on the next flight to my destination 5 hours later.  Apparently, "the computer" had cut off accepting any more baggage within 30 minutes of departure.  (Results produced by the Factorcrap Truthometer Deluxe during subsequent analysis last night were inconclusive on this statement).    Arriving, I was told that American would not pay to have the bag delivered as it was "your fault" for not having the bag ready on time.  Of course, the fact that I was electronically checked in, but, had not personally spoke with the agent; that Dallas is the location of American's headquarters and major hub; that American had 3 agents on duty at 4 pm on a Friday afternoon at the Gate 28-29 counter area to service the 3 lines of approximately 50 passengers waiting to be processed; and that nowhere on the boarding pass or on the American Airlines website concerning preboarding policies was this discussed seemed to sway anyone I spoke to .  So, it's a trip back to the airport to retrieve my luggage. 

Upon reflection, I understand this type of behavior; I experience it on a daily basis.  To practice this at the level equal to our own, though is noteworthy.   If you ever have the choice between American Airlines and a blind burro to get you somewhere capably, choose the mule.  After all, "We know why you fly.  We're American Airlines".

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