Monday, December 21, 2009
Circle takes the square
We received a pre-Christmas gift here at the Institute yesterday that I think is appropriate for our staff. The gift is a board game called "Smart Ass". Players are asked various questions and, based on your answers, you progress on a board to the final destination.
The whole concept reminded me of the old Hollywood Squares TV quiz show. The set was a giant tic-tac-toe board where various celebrities were seated and would be asked random questions. Two contestants had to alternately determine if the answers were true or false and based on their correct determination, the contestant would win the square. Some of the greatest one-liner smart ass replies came from this show.
With full credit to the celebrities and writers:
You're a 71-year old man who has lost interest in sex. Does your doctor have anything to help you?
Charley Weaver: No, but his nurse does.
True or False. Experts say there are only seven or eight things in the world dumber than the ant.
George Gobel: Yes, and I think I voted for them.
In a survey of teenage mothers, most of them said they were listening to this when they got pregnant. What is it?
Paul Lynde: A pack of lies.
What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
I'm sure our group, being as dimwitted as they are, will never match the clever answers listed here. Perhaps though, they will use it as a form of inspiration.