having read our letter a scant 9 months ago explaining so, I got another request from A. Barry Rand, Executive Director at the AARP, in the mail yesterday to once again join his organization. I thought my well reasoned, clearly thought-out, succinct letter spelled our position in detail that anyone could understand. Alas, A. Barry, even your bribe of the FREE Trunk Organizer is simply not enough to pony up the annual $16 to be a part of the Old Folks League. I do, however A., want to introduce you to a fellow whom also sent me a request to join his organization as well yesterday. Perhaps the 2 of you should speak with one another. Really, the fact that your 2 letters arrived in my mailbox at the same time was kind of interesting. Anyways, he won't bite. His name is John. John: A. Barry. A. Barry: John.
John's request was a 2 page letter that didn't offer me anything as cool as the FREE Trunk Organizer. He was also much more aggressive in asking for money. 3 times in his message he implored me to send $25, $50, or $100 to his organization to help them meet their goals as well. He buttered me up by calling me a leader, explained his goals, and then thanked me for all I have done and for what I continue to do. Our work here at the Institute is fairly non-descript and so I was a bit surprised that he even knew of it, but, there it was. In writing. On his own personalized stationery. A letter from John thanking me for my efforts and asking for some money. I tossed it as quick as I tossed old A. Barry's request. Someone always has their hand out looking for money.
It's funny. We have been toiling here on a very modest budget since our beginning. I actually have been thinking of applying for a government grant to continue the fine work we do here. Knowing the current budget process is trying to identify as much unnecessary and wasteful expenditures, I guess I would have to make a strong case in order to receive any of this money. I would have to have an "in" with someone; I would have to "know" someone at the top that could streamline the process and cut through the bullshit. I went back to the garbage and pulled John's letter back out and then it hit me. I do know someone. I know John Boehner, the Speaker of the House! He wrote to me. We're pen pals.
I wonder if I will get a piece of real ivory if I send money.