Could this argument shut us down?

Ripped from the pages of today headlines, a battle is brewing here at FTI that is similar to a battle being currently fought in the public arena.  Fortunately, it has nowhere near the complications involved. 

At our normal Monday staff meeting, a chasm was revealed that could result in a shutdown here at FTI unless some sort of compromise is not reached. Unlike the Federal government's battle between political parties about government spending, our differences emanate over a battle of intellectual pursuit. On the surface, I know that sound like an oxymoron, however deeper investigation shows an argument vigorously defended by both points of view. On one side, there is an element that supports our original charter and purpose to (as noted in our "About FTI" tab at the top of this page)"offer policy analysis, event commentary, and recount observations as generated by the same staff that mental health professionals have identified as Weirdos, Whackos, and Misfits." Seems straight forward enough. The other faction wants to take our purpose in another direction resulting in nonsense, drivel, and a daily feature known as "Chump Chatter" that basically highlights questionable investments, 20 year old jokes, balloon tying tricks, and examples of "art".  I, as Executive Director, have stayed above the fray, but see myself increasingly getting drawn into this mess. Being the Broker of Peace that I am, I summoned both factions to the Executive Suite here at FTI to facilitate some type of negotiations. I am familiar with the side that wants to keep our purpose status quo, but, was interested in raising our intellectual angle and thought the art idea was interesting.   I decided to ask the other side to submit some type of example that I could study so I could make a recommendation to the cheap-Assed Board of Directors for their consideration.

The resulting submittal speaks for itself.  I hope our mission suffers no interruptions.