Toothbrush? Check.
Official FTI ID Card? Check.
Spending Cash? Check. (I have more than enough as I raided Dickie the Peap's buried soup can while he was attempting to chisel the newspaper kid down on his monthly subscription fee.)
Ceremonial Executive Director's pointed hat? Certainly not. That item is reserved for only the highest and most solemn functions here at FTI. The next regularly scheduled use of that is next month when we formally announce our partnership with the good folks at Factorcrap (the same company who produced the Truthometer Deluxe still used today at FTI). They recently signed a one year licensing agreement with us here at FTI and in exchange for a small fee paid to us, they retain the rights to any intellectual property emanating from our efforts. The old maxim of "You get what you pay for" is certainly in play here as they sure as hell didn't pay very much. And I guarantee they aren't going to get very much.
Anyways, I think we are good to go. We are out of here for a few days returning next Tuesday. In the meantime, we suggest our 2 faithful readers take a break, escape the shame, and get a life. It's really for your own good.
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