One of our goals for the Misfits here at FTI is to develop some sort of outlet where they can spend time in a recreational setting. Since most of the Misfit's ability to ably compete on the normal softball, basketball, or golf teams is highly questionable, I believe I may have stumbled onto a solution while on Tour this weekend. We will start our own FTI Nightclub.
In order to lead our Nightclub, I decided I needed to find a member of our team with charisma, stage presence, and obviously, the ability to sing. Though I personally possess many talents, I was, unfortunately, not gifted with the ability to sing. While on Tour this weekend, the Rat Bastard G and I engaged in various events that consistently ended in the evenings centered around the consumption of beverages that "enhance and amplify" the exaggerated abilities of most people. During one of these events at a karaoke bar, The Rat Bastard G impressed me with his vocal abilities and command to nail both the technically challenging pieces of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and The Happy Birthday Song in the key of monotone. Recognizing immediately the potential of such a talent, I decided on the spot that the Rat Bastard would be the natural leader of an FTI Nightclub. A star is born.
As a result, The FTI "Bastardana Club" will conduct shows nightly except Sunday and Mondays. Open mike is Tuesday where potential staff members can audition and try out to join the cast. The Green Comic will open most nights with his standard tasteless, stupid, retread jokes to be followed by Gummo, the Balloon Boy and Freako Deako conducting a mind reading exhibition (which probably won't last long as neither has a mind worth reading) leading up to the Rat Bastard headlining for a full hour with his consistent off-key efforts to wow and amaze the crowd.
We are currently accepting applications for a cigarette girl. Inquire within.
A cigarette girl?? Well, yeah! I love fishnets and red lipstick. Would it matter if I was more of a cigarette old broad, though?
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