As noted in the "About Me" section to the right, our normal duties here at FTI are to offer our perspective on various topics and to also help readers by having our near-award winning team analyze various scenarios. In meeting that goal, the upcoming week will feature our organization's analysis of a fellow blogger's experiences in purchasing a used vehicle. We hope to offer comparisons and simile's in our daily experiences with this single act.
As opposed to most topics displayed here, for once, we actually may know what the hell we are talking about. One of our staff members includes a "pre-owned vehicle counselor". His placement file upon arrival here at FTI included the notations of "highly experienced with adverse customer negotiations", "possesses extensive conversational evasion and confusion practices" and unfortunately, "mastery of memory erasure and commitment deniability". This last skill is troublesome as the preparation for this skillset required short bursts of high energy electronic pulses to be aimed at the lower earlobe of the individual. During the treatment, however, the technician administering the treatment inadvertently spilled a cup of coffee and directed the pulse wave through the ear of our member, rendering him as a priority placement candidate here at FTI. His worth has been invaluable however, as he is a perfect test mechanism when we perform our weekly routine maintenance of the Factorcrap Truthometer Deluxe. We question this individual on a variety of subjects, record his truthfullness, and then use these results as an opposite baseline to calibrate our device. To date, the Truthometer Deluxe has performed flawlessly, thanks to this simple fine tuning.
So we'll get after it, starting Monday. In the meantime, the restrooms are down the hall, here's a balloon for the kids, some stale popcorn is over by the service area, and it shouldn't be much longer. We really do value your business.