Thursday, January 21, 2010

Healthcare I can believe in

In order to spur the freshest, innovative, and most illuminating type of thinking generated from the  FTI staff and affiliates,  I insist upon the best resources for their use.   Pencils, walkmen, Commodore 64 computers.  All of it.  We scour the world (including Overstock.com) to find the best for our people; after all,  they are our number 1 asset.    Unfortunately, the cheap assed-Board of Directors do not share my commitment in regard to medical care. Our medical staff is among the finest, unfortunately, they are not given the resources to do much more than aid the errant paper cut suffered by the staff.  For more meaningful care I have to go outside of the  FTI network. 

I went for my annual physical yesterday with a new doctor.  The standard poking, prodding, listening to my chest, etc. were involved.  (I'll pass on the cheap bit about falling in love with the guy's gloved index finger.  C'mon, it's part of the  exam.  Grow up.)  The exam was going well  and he noted no discernible items of worry.  The exam took an ominous turn however, when  he asked what I did for a living.   I described my position here as Executive Director of FTI and the associated duties I am expected to accomplish.  He seemed surprised, yet interested, and asked increasingly familiar questions about FTI.  It became obvious as we conversed that he head heard of  the  work, policy analysis, and the interpretations we produce on a regular basis.   During our conversation, I noticed he discretely pushed a yellow button on the wall intercom system within the office.  Within 60 seconds, 2 large burly attendants rushed the room and I was immediately restrained and given a quick injection for, as he put it, "my own safety".    Apparently, as we had been conversing earlier, while discussing my earlier immunization schedule, he noted a lapse in one key preventive tool:  I hadn't received my anti-idiot booster.

I am pleased to report I am now updated and immune from any of the contaminated thinking produced by our staff.  I feel better already.

5 comments:

  1. Ok, so you didn't fall in love with ol' Doc Jellyfinger, did you at least take him to lunch?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Since you are no longer absorbing the contaminated thinking of the FTI staff, does that mean it'll now contaminate the rest of us that you so generously protected us from?
    :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Obviously, the more sophisticated reader and author of the 2 above comments is easily recognized. The other, however, reeks of the type of comment we would expect from one of our own, i.e. the Green Comic. Perhaps, I should introduce you to one another?

    ReplyDelete
  4. You've been tagged!!!!

    :)
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete

We welcome your corrections, musings, and notes of sympathy. Due to the limited cognitive ability of our staff, please limit words to no higher than a fourth grade comprehension level.