Safely ensconced back here at the FTI Executive Directors Living Quarters, I have assumed full duties and responsibilities after my 13 day excursion. Fortunately, nothing of any meaningful significance occurred (TRANSLATION: Same old, same old) which I give complete and total credit to my able-bodied Assistant/Trustee, Giacommo for his steady hand at the FTI wheel while I was gone. Good job, son. I do note that the fluid levels in the bottles of the ceremonial Executive Director sacraments were noticeably lower, but do accept your explanation of testing the effects of evaporation in the atmosphere and your experimentations, therein. (Regardless, I am recommending to the cheap-assed Board of Directors that his status be upgraded to Assistant Director in Waiting, Level 2. Though certainly not an increase in any type of compensation, the prestige and title alone should allow him to take advantage of the super prices offered on any mattress at any of the 100's of locations of the Sleep Universe superstores located across the United States. Congratulations.)
So back at it I begin. The Rat Bastard is incommunicado, Slateface has had a birthday and Dickie the Peap, ever thinking of ways to save money, suggested I wait until after his birthday to see if I could get a card half off. I failed to point out to the little miser that the greeting card industry has developed a product known as a "Belated Birthday" greeting to combat this type of thinking, but alas, these are the condition under which I work. In other words, nothing has changed. I just got a 13 day reprieve, that's all. I'll take it.
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