Monday, May 16, 2011

The Countdown is On

I am currently developing some type of emergency transfer of powers clause for insertion into our FTI bylaws in order to make it look official should there be any question in the future concerning legitimacy. Legally, this act is a crime and called "Forgery by Insertion", however, Shifty, my lawyer, has given me the wink and nod and told me to go ahead and do it.   You see, I am preparing for an extended absence from FTI for the next 2 weeks to attend and celebrate the graduation of Kfred Jr. from West Point and have failed to locate my part-time, able-bodied Assistant/Trustee, Giacommo and inform him that he will be needed and pressed into action during my absence. Inserting this clause will cover my ass if I fail to locate the little knucklehead  and have to institute emergency martial law powers decreeing that all activity is suspended until further notice.

Mrs. Kfred and I leave Wednesday and I hope to return around Memorial Day. The actual Graduation is this coming Saturday, but, we are going to hang out in New York City for a few days and then Jr. 2 and I are going to conduct a road trip from NY back here to the FTI compound on the West coast via car. I am actually looking forward to it as I hope to visit some inspirational historic and cultural sites along the way that have meaning to our Misfits here at FTI. Of course, there is Mecca: The Ripleys Believe It or Not Odditorium (God, I love that name. I wish I had thought of it) in Times Square in New York City; the 2 headed calf described as "8 eyes, 8 nostrils. In the basement. Fabled Freaks of the National Road" in Brookville, Ohio;  the "worlds largest Ball of Yarn" in Cawker City, Kansas, "Carhenge", a Stonehenge replica made of junked cars in Alliance, Nebraska, and other "gotta sees" along the way.  I can't wait.  Of course, all of this is done for professional purposes are are going to be itemized on next year's FTI tax return as being pursued for educational purposes only and counted as a legitimate deduction at that time.  I can't wait.   

Like the lasagna that is prepared 2 weeks ahead of time and put in the freezer when you know you will need to offer it to the family when someone is about to die, I have pre-prepared (?) some posts for future publication.  Unlike the lasagna, they will be fresh and appear to have been made just that day.  I have wound down all of our official FTI commitments during that time, so, expect Gummo, the Balloon Boy, the Green Comic, Slateface, and the rest of the Misfits to do what they do best during this time:  Nothing.    I won't have to worry about them.  After all, I have to figure out the true meaning of Carhenge.

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