Unidentified FTI staff member "riding the wave" |
Having finished all of the basic fall clean up and beautification processes here at FTI , over the weekend the last remaining task for the FTI Physical Plant/Landscaping dream team was to trim the hedges that surround the compound. Deferred yearly maintenance trimming had resulted in a hedge that was taller than our staff could safely access via a ladder. A number of alternative ideas were proposed and judged to be unsound including Gummo, the Balloon Boy balancing the Green Comic on his shoulders with an electric trimmer in an attempt to mimic an act from a 2nd rate traveling circus featuring a couple of Eastern European Brothers with a chain saw. Dickie the Peap thought perhaps whacking the bush with a golf club might be appropriate as it would give him additional practice with his golf swing in order to attempt to rescue his pathetic golf game. Ultimately, Slateface came up with the idea of the day: Why not mow it with a tractor? Logistics were an obvious hurdle, so, the Misfits had a major brainstorming session dedicated to surmising a solution. A total of 3-1/2 hours later, a plan was hatched.
Under the watchful eye of our Safety Director, Mrs. Kfred, a plan was devised and executed to sheer perfection. Fearing that any one of the Misfits might actually attempt to put the tractor into gear, I had a member of the landscaping team ride the tractor as it mowed the 16 foot hedge to a pristine, even cut. Our work was so impressive that members of the local Japanese Gardening Society came by, took pictures, and asked if we were available for consultation in regard to some of their bonsai plants. I guess enthusiasts even recognize sheer brilliance when they see it.
We have a tractor. Now if I can just find someone with a crane.
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