It's Sunday Brunch

Hey c'mon, it's Sunday and I am tired.   We get a day off too, you know, so,  I'm taking the staff out to Brunch. Every time one of the Misfits say, do, or think something stupid, they have to put a dollar in the jar. We call it our Brunch fund. And as far as I can forecast, there's going to be a lot of Sunday meals.

Just like Sunday Brunch, most of the stuff here is overvalued, pre-cooked, and have already been sneezed on  by some snotty 6 year old kid.  But, go ahead:  take a look here and see if any of these days old items are to your liking.  Like most places, our admonishments are the same:  "Take as much as you want, read all that you take".

See you tomorrow.

JUKEBOX: The mantra for many

"Laaaaadies and Gentlemen, It's time for our Main Event!"

Last night, I watched a 2 hour documentary tracing the history of Wrestling from the late 1800's to it's present form.  Starting out once as an exhibition of strength, balance, and athleticism, wrestling has involved into a form of entertainment for it's customers.  The actual activity has moved from one of an athletic event to a type of soap opera with a complete cast of characters including good, evil, pretty boys, and the like.    As spoken by one of the players, "If you don't believe it, there is no explanation possible.  If you do believe it, no explanation is needed."

I can relate to this whole situation as we here at FTI have the same type of scenario occurring.  My role is like that of a promoter: hyping, exhorting,  and trying to keep some sort  of semblance of order on the whole circus while acting as if everything is normal around me.  The illusion of chaos is simply your mind playing tricks on you.

My problem, however, is that we are missing any of the good guys.  Oh sure, we've got plenty of "heels" (wrestling slang for the bad characters):  Gummo, the Balloon Boy;  Rat Bastard G, the Green Comic, Slateface, etc.  Dickey the Peap might come closest to personifying good, but  I think he is re-inventing himself into the alter ego of Cheapo, the Magnificent.

I think I will just make sure that I replace the metal folding chairs with soft pillows at our FTI conference table.  It would seem to be a bit safer.  

Let's get the man on the Street's perspective

A couple of weekend observations:

• I don't think the  FTI Dopes Trial will ever end.  This past Thursday the judge postponed, again, for 2 weeks, a hearing to determine costs due to me and my fellow plaintiffs.  Though disappointed, I am not surprised.  The efficiency of the court system in our country today is very poor.  Never, ever, ever get involved with the court system if you can avoid it.  It is expensive, time consuming, and ultimately, wasteful.      

• Be careful when bidding any outside craftsman work on your behalf by outside tradespeople.  I had the chance to observe an exclusive behind-the-scenes look into the sordid, tawdry, world of bidding practices as described by our own Dickey the Peap over the weekend.  I am finalizing the editing and compilation of hidden camera recordings detailing in his own words the gouging, manipulation, and outright shyster-like tactics employed by the little miser foisted upon unsuspecting senior citizens, neighbors, and inexperienced homeowners when   offering to do work on their behalf.  The details will be explosive, the fees outrageous.  One viewing of this video will convince most people that the Saturday Do It Yourself clinic at the Home Depot is time well spent.  
• I know better, but, I don't want to believe it:  Fall is on it's way.  Both weekend days were mid-90 degree days, but, by 8:15 pm, it is pitch black out and the nights are cooling substantially.  I like the change of seasons.  I just got cheated out of summer and now it is already leaving.  That kind of sucks.    

I call 'em as I see 'em.

It's post Dickey the Peap Sunday

Hey c'mon, it's "post Dickey the Peap" Sunday and I am tired.   We get a day off too, you know.  I had to argue, wheedle, plead, and beg the little miser to pony up a couple of dollars while visiting yesterday to pay for Sunday brunch once in a while.    All to no avail.

Just like Sunday Brunch, most of the stuff here is overvalued, pre-cooked, and have already been sneezed on  by some snotty 6 year old kid.  But, go ahead:  take a look here and see if any of these days old items are to your liking.  Like most places, our admonishments are the same:  "Take as much as you want, read all that you take".

See you tomorrow.

Jukebox: Kind of how we operate around here

Will this ever end?

OK, today is payday.  Or so, I think.

The continuing saga of the FTI Dopes trial is supposed to draw to a close today with  a hearing of determination of attorney  costs owed to me from the idiot developer.  His hard headedness (is that a word?) over this entire episode has cost nothing but a bunch of money, but now, it is turning into his responsibility.  I was in the courtroom last week when the judge scheduled today's prospective hearing and, yet, his attorney now is objecting on the grounds of insufficient notice.  Insufficient notice?!  Were you not there, lady?   Of course, everything in the law has to be in a written form and I am wondering if Shifty missed by one day the formal delivery of letter notifying the other attorney of this hearing.

Once again, chalk this episode up to another in the"Why I Hope I Am Never Involved With The Legal System In The United States Ever Again", file.    

Some Milestone Day reflections

Today is my Birthday,
I'm gonna have a good time,
I say it's my birthday,
Happy birthday to me.


After about 8 years of age, birthdays don't mean much to most people.  I am like most people.  It's just another day.  I do pause though to reflect on my life to this point. 

To date, I am thankful and blessed to have:

1) Good Health,
2) A loving wife, successful children,  and a supportive extended family,
3) Some Great friends,
4) A job I like,
5) and satisfaction in my life to date.

On the other hand,  I am sorry I didn't: 

1) Go to college,
2) Attempt to at least try to meet the goal of when I was a four year old and become a railroad engineer,
3) Have the courage to tell some people to stick it up their ass when I was wronged (that's another story),
4) Walk away from bidding one more time on Ebay when acquiring the Factorcrap Truthometer Deluxe.

Had I done so on  point #4 above, I wouldn't be in the middle of this rinky-dink Instititute I currently run. 

Oh, how life deals us such strange circumstances. 
 
 

Jukebox: "Some people GOT to have it"

Hailing all frequencies!

I just received word that the Green Comic has not suffered the same fate as Jimmy Hoffa.

While conducting our normal morning roll call yesterday morning, I noted that the Green Comic and a couple of other members of the Doofus Squad were nowhere to be found.  We had received no request for an excused absence, nor, noted an records here at the FTI infirmary of any unexpected medical emergencies. Knowing that the leader of any of the absent dimwits would be Green because he is the only one with the ability to tie his shoes,  I  immediately  suspected that perhaps he had met with the same fate as the union boss of the 70's because of the powerful enemies he has offended over the years; Grandmothers, legitimate comedians, and  paper clips.   Instead, Green, the Rat Bastard G, and Gummo, the Balloon Boy had all decided to take an early Labor Day holiday and went on a 5 day camping trip that coincided  with my recent camping trip.  Thus, their absence was not recognized.  (The fact that they provide no useful contributions on a regular basis should not be discounted, either.)   After repeated phone calls, police welfare checks, the scouring of local homeless animal shelters, and a thorough search of the Walmart garbage bins, I finally received a call from  Green explaining the absence.   I reminded him of our extended leave policy here at FTI and received assurances none of this would ever happen again.  Regardless, we are at full strength and gearing up for the fall kickoff and upcoming FTI membership drive.

It looks to be a slow fall.

The end is in sight

I am scheduled to attend a hearing at 9 am this morning for the signing and finalization of the judgment order of the FTI Dopes trial.  I really am looking forward to watching the idiot defendant and his family formally be legally held responsible for their actions.  I don't think they will actually accept their punishment, but, that is beside the point.  They are now legally attached for it.

As described earlier, the greed and stubbornness of one individual will eventually end up costing he and his family over a quarter million dollars.  It seems like such a shame.  I no longer have any feelings of sympathy or compassion for this guy and his family.  He had numerous opportunities to try to mitigate the damages of his own actions, but, wouldn't do so.  Oh well.

Like I said earlier, I don't expect ever to see some sort of big check with my name on it.  I think I will slowly receive a token amount of money gained from drawn out hearings and legal battles resulting in a substantially less amount of money than I spent after attorney fees are considered.  But that's OK.  The good guys won.  I am however quite sure I never, ever, ever, want to be mixed up with the legal system again.      

I would have made a lousy pioneer

Mrs. Kfred and I  just completed a fun weekend with Marv, the neighbor, and his wife  in the luxury and surroundings of his RV on a small trip.  There was a small festival in the area that they wanted to attend over the weekend and invited us to come up and stay over the weekend with them.

I have never been much of a camping person as I have never understood the fun of sleeping on the hard ground, freezing your ass of most of the time, not taking a shower for 2 - 3 days at a time, and eating cold, burnt on  the outside, half raw on the inside, hamburgers and fish during mealtime.  Sorry that just doesn't appeal to me.  This time was different, however.  Pull out the couch and it turns into a comfy hide-a-bed with plenty of blankets.  Microwave, flatscreen TV, internet, on-board shower and toilet, and a small ice making freezer unit for cocktails, and PRESTO!, roughing it isn't too bad.

As a nod to the idea of a community campfire, however, we did conduct a time old ritual:  we did drink 4 "one last beers" ending at 2:30 in the morning in addition to the numerous ones we had before while starting and maintaining the fire during the night.      It is always smart to properly use, care,  and handle the resources you brought with you.  I feel that simple act respected this solemn duty.

Now, where did I put the hair gel?

Jukebox: The Genius of George

A little summer mind closet cleaning

No theme today; just a couple of random thoughts that need to be expressed:

I don't understand  the Obama '12 stickers starting to pop up on cars.  As noted here previously, I don't trust any politicians regardless of party (and, no, I didn't vote for McCain.) For the love of God, though, people don't even know who the other candidate is and they already know they are going to support Obama next year!?? We're not exactly in a good spot here under this guy's leadership!  Again, I don't trust the Republicans over this guy, but,  holy shit, can't people see what happened when we selected a President based on popularity like they choose the winner of American Idol?   To this subset of the population: Welcome.  You have gained involuntary membership to our FTI population of slow learners. 

The current kill tally of the Little Bastards and his ilk is now 3. Having failed to learn how to kill successfully previously, I am now on a roll and have trapped 3 in the last 3 weeks.  My lawn is better and so is my self confidence.    I have another trap placed, set, and awaiting the next victim.  This is truly a war of attrition which I expect to win. 

A note of both congratulations and  admonishment is due to Mrs. Dickey the Peap.   The congratulations are for her 43 hell-bent years of staying with the little short-armed one this long.   The  admonishment is for  what her life really could have been had she rightfully kicked his sorry little ass to the curb 44 years ago in the first place.  Mrs. Peap is smart, attractive, and recently retired from a successful teaching career. She has so much going for her, but, she should have recognized that when the little miser pulled the now all to well familiar excuse of having "forgot my wallet, I'll catch it next time" routine when on their first ice cream date those many years ago, she should have said, "Siyornara pal, you cheap little twerp". The phrase "love is blind" truly gets exercised in this case.

I think the universe is now back in alignment with these topics revealed. I know I feel better for having unloaded them.

It's Sunday Brunch

Hey c'mon, it's Sunday and I am tired.   We get a day off too, you know, so,  I'm taking the staff out to Brunch. Every time one of the Misfits say, do, or think something stupid, they have to put a dollar in the jar. We call it our Brunch fund. And as far as I can forecast, there's going to be a lot of Sunday meals.

Just like Sunday Brunch, most of the stuff here is overvalued, pre-cooked, and have already been sneezed on  by some snotty 6 year old kid.  But, go ahead:  take a look here and see if any of these days old items are to your liking.  Like most places, our admonishments are the same:  "Take as much as you want, read all that you take".

See you tomorrow.

You haven't been posting lately

A friendly reminder from the little miser, Dickey the Peap, was given to me yesterday about my dereliction of duty relating to posts here recently.

I have been out of town on non-Institute business and, as a result, have had to prioritize this chore down the line of completed tasks. Fear not, however, oh frugal one, as I have already started on next week's posts including a Monday version of some potpourri of random thoughts and observations which I will list.

Our upcoming Fall FTI membership drive is just around the corner and our marketing/promotions department is planning on something even bigger than our highly successful Western Hemisphere Relations Forum /Auto Parts Swap Meet" held last spring.  I shudder to think what it may entail, but, that's not my problem.  I just go along with it.

Regardless, the bashing of the short armed one begins again on Monday.

Jukebox: ..........and this point forward

Are eggs one item or 12?

I was recently solicited by a firm marketing the helpful type of signs pictured below for use here at the FTI compound. Though I could find nothing in their portfolio that I felt was directly useful, I did think the concept was on the mark. The example they presented us was especially appropriate for our population, but, as we don't have any retail outlets, I decided to pass on the opportunity.

I share this with you for your consideration.

Speak up, I can't see you

This guy employs some of the same logic I see demonstrated regularly.

Ah, the lengths some people will go to get their way. 

Jukebox: It's the Summer's Full Moon