Monday, March 28, 2011

It's not easy being me

After a brief hiatus from my official duties as chief correspondent here at FTI, I am back and ready to go. Perhaps, a little bit less enthused for the moment, but, certainly ready to go.  What a weekend.

Let's start in the beginning:   After spending a full weekend on Saturday working with the FTI legal team and hosting an open house yesterday here at the compound, I was busy.    All of Saturday was spent with the FTI legal team scanning and reviewing documents for use in  our official upcoming Kangaroo court appearance and testimony.  The FTI legal team is populated with some of the legal professions brightest minds and I am confident that a the end of the day,  justice will prevail.  Then yesterday,  I missed the "How to remove Moles from your Yard" seminar at the local nursery as it is apparent one of our alumni are in charge of the reader board there. Previously in the week, the sign advertised the event as occurring at "11 am Sunday, the 26th". The careful calendar observer will note that unless they are thinking of November 26, 2011, the date for March is inaccurate.  As I show up at the appointed time yesterday, I note there are only 5 cars in the parking lot and chalk it up to a rainy Sunday morning. I then am informed that the event was actually held the day before, Saturday, the 26th, and was well attended by over 100 people.  All I got for my efforts was a lousy tri-fold pamphlet basically designed to sell mole traps.    Idiots.    In the meantime the little bastard and his ilk are raising havoc in my yard.

Then last night, after wrapping up the open house here at the compound at 9 pm, I note a failed electric circuit including the one routing the FTI nerve center from where this drivel is produced.  Immediately dispatching our multiple FTI electrical engineering teams with instructions to report back to me on an every 5 minute interval basis, I note there is a  void of any useful information coming in.  Observing one of the teams in action, I note their activity consists of a single member, repeatedly flipping a switch at the panel box with no apparent result and summarizing with the statement, "I dunno, nothing seems to be happening".    Realizing that perhaps this member is actually mistakenly deployed to the wrong assignment and would be better suited placed on our critical Analysis and Policy Direction  (APD)committee, I try to intervene.  In the end, a request to re-route an entire circuit, with the accompanying infrastructure buildout, obligatory  overtime labor charges,  and accompanying parts was submitted to me.  Carefully reviewing the request and budgetary liabilities, I immediately vetoed this idea and handled the situation personally with a time tested solution:  A long extension cord to another circuit with a 6 plug power strip to handle all items involved.  Problem solved.

It's Monday,  A new day.   A new week.  I just hope I don't break my neck tripping over that damn cord. 


  1. I know of an able bodied individual knowledgeable in mole relief. You are probably not wanting to use his skills because you might have to give him the heal of a moldy piece of bread as a reward for information gained. What a cheap bastard.

  2. That would be heel.
    Heal would be too much for you.


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