An unfortunate incident has required me to invoke emergency powers here at FTI.
Our Safety Director, Mrs Kfred, suffered an unfortunate fall this morning on her way to the FTI Sanitation Receptacle/Misfit Monument as some unseen ice had formed overnight and she slipped and fell and suffered a bruised back and slight blow to the head. I happened to hear her gasp and the subsequent fall and immediately sprung into action to investigate. Finding her slumped on the ground, I helped her to her feet, and immediately rendered first aid. Fearing that her analytical abilities may be compromised and testing her mental faculties, I suspected something may be wrong as she gave incorrect responses to the first 3 of the 4 baseline questions I had formulated including: 1) the correct atomic weight of chromium, 2) the value of pi to the 6th decimal point, or 3) if CarrotTop was truly a funny comedian. Only on the 4th question of who was the biggest well known skinflint that her mumbled answer of "Dickie the Peap" make me realize there would be no long term permanent damage. Regardless, I immediately assumed duties for the time being and know things will be OK on a long term basis.
Thank God for some absolutes when conducting these type of tests.