Much like Dear Abby in the local newspaper, our new "Dear Kfred" initiative here at FTI is increasingly becoming a popular feature of the work we perform here for the community. Here is an actual letter:
My husband (I'll call him "El-Cheapo") told me today that he didn't get me anything for my birthday because everything was too expensive. What should I do?
Dear Mrs. El-Cheapo,
It's ironic that you write in as we had a very similar scenario here at FTI. One of the Misfits relayed a story to me when he told me he had his feelings hurt while considering a gift for his wife's birthday. Apparently our Misfit thought it would be nice to buy his wife a little gift for her birthday and went to a department store. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a $50.00 bottle.
"That's a bit much," he said , so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. "That's still quite a bit," he complained.
Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. "What I mean," said , "is I'd like to see something really cheap."
The clerk handed him a mirror.
Just be thankful he is cheap and doesn't try to squander your life savings on losing stock tips.