At our weekly meeting yesterday, I was informed of some displeasure and dissension over my posting and creation of yesterday's pocket reference guide comparing the Misfits to Zombies. The prevailing thought that I was a bit harsh, unflattering, and a bit mean spirited in doing so. Upon further reflection, I suppose it was a bit biting and, as a result, I immediately issued an apology. The Zombie representative accepted my apology and that was it.
To follow-up in that direction, I note that one of our 2 faithful readers seems to be having a blue, introspective period. Having extensive experience in dealing with, and recognizing situations requiring, harsh interventional tactics, I immediately reminded this reader of steps we here at FTI can take to correct such feelings. In no uncertain order, they include:
1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
These are basic tactics anyone would perform to help a friend out of the dumps. One other observation I have made is that a good friend would bail you out of jail. A true friend would be in jail beside you.
And people say there is no compassion left in the world anymore. Ha!
Smiling
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