As I was perusing it, it became clearer to me that there are several striking similarities between the Undead and the Misfits. I have constructed a small, handy pocket reference guide belows. Feel free to contact us here at FTI and we will rush you a free laminated pocket sized replica for your wallet or purse to help you identify if you are actually dealing with a Zombie or have encountered one of the Misfits.
|No Language abilities||One of our guys can actually burp the "Star Spangled Banner"||Significant|
|No Social Dynamics||Our team set the World record for the Team Nosepicking Relay Race||We're still working on all of the words to "Kumbaya" presently. We should be ready to perform at our Christmas Gala.|
|No Financial Abilities||3 Words: Dickie the Peap||Case Closed|
|Awkward Physical Coordination||Gummo the Balloon Boy can ride a bike and tie a balloon at the same time. Blindfolded.||Useful when we conduct our off-site "Once-in-a-Lifetime/Everything Has Got To Go" vehicle disposal Sale|
EDITORS NOTE: Though this posting appears to be a helpful gift by the author for the good of the readership, full disclosure dictates this is actually the result of the state mandated once a year commitment for Community Service to be performed by the Flatline Thinking Insititute as part of their original Charter Agreement.
Any advice given here should be taken in light of the disclosure made above.