I think the folks at AARP hope the third time is the charm. These guys are like a bad case of jock itch: they just never stop. Well, I got news for them: I use rash powder regularly.
After my second contact to ol' A. Barry of the AARP following the original ridicule response, I get a third solicitation in the mail over the weekend from Steve Cone, Director of Membership, that now seems kind of desperate. In fact, it's kind of sad. Apparently the cool, free, insulated travel bag they so heavily promoted the first time around, is now basically treated as a consolation prize if you send in the $16 they want. This time, the insulated travel bag is now included as an acknowledgment of me sending in some money. I can only figure this enticement was not that great because it doesn't have the screaming announcement on the envelope about it. The benefits Steve recites of joining the AARP include the "award-winning AARP The Magazine that will help you feel great, save money and have fun". Hmmm. Who knew a magazine could do all of that? The only magazine I can think of that did 2 of those 3 things was one the neighbor kid showed me when I was about 11 years old that he had stolen from under his Dad's bed. If it's got that, I'm in. Otherwise, I think I will pass.
Just before I prepared to toss this letter, I noticed that the $16 was for a one year membership, but, if I opted for the 5 year membership, I could take advantage of the AARP "Anniversary Discount" price of $55. Yep, that's right. Me and the ol' AARP are both turning 55 this year! Who knew that so much good has been done for such an amount of time?
Steve, I do have one question though. We both have acquired knowledge, experience, and wisdom over the years. Even at 17, I knew some things were wrong, but, obviously you guys didn't do anything about it because Mom made me wear one for graduation pictures. Why the hell didn't you fight the prevalence of leisure suits?