Interestingly, a crisis that has been bubbling in the background here at FTI has suddenly and distinctly come to the forefront for our attention. Not unlike the recent budget battle in Congress over the US debt situation, their is an ideological split among our group on how to best proceed to meet the mandates of our original charter. Our crisis? An intellectual one.
Aligned on one side of the controversy is the idiot faction; Gummo, the Balloon Boy, the Rat Bastard G, et al., who seem to think that the continuing contribution to intellectual enhancement of the Internet consists of posting 40 year old Beatles videos on Youtube. The other side (best described as "illusory" thinkers ) are populated by Slateface and Dickey the Peap who feel the best way to demonstrate intellectual prowess to our 2 faithful readers is to constantly belittle and make fun of me as Executive Director. Neither faction, however, can claim superiority in their arguments as both groups are easily classified as dimwitted, slow, and in the Peap's case, cheap. Regardless, it is my duty as Executive Director to listen to all of the advice given to me, evaluate it for it's usefulness, and then decide how to proceed.
Fortunately, the cheap-assed Board of Directors did allow me the option to pursue independent courses of action should I choose to when confronted with this exact type of situation. Currently, like the woman in Oklahoma has already done, I am leaning toward claiming that FTI is actually related to DB Cooper. I hope it is true; it would explain the disappearance of any sign of intelligence all of this time.