As part of our ongoing commitment to the community, the cheap-assed Board of Directors have instructed me to explore the possibility of having summer interns placed here at the Institute on a temporary, nonpaid (would you expect anything else?) basis. I have been in contact with the local branches of higher education to offer our facility as a site for placement of young people looking to expand their experience in their various fields of study. To date, we have not received any return calls of interest or inquiry.
Upon reflection, I have been informed by my highly educated assistant, Giacommo, that perhaps our site may not be as desirable as some others for the interns we seek. Competing with the likes of local government, industry, and charitable foundations, our lure and prestige as an organization may not be as great. Accordingly, we have decided to "rebrand" our summary description one could expect to experience as an intern. Something about "Summer at FTI: It's like Costa Rica with Weirdos" doesn't seem to be getting it done.
Costa Rica with weirdos is too much like home. I need something better than that before I would feel true enticement.
ReplyDeleteWill there be any gingerbread house baking and making going on during the aforementioned internship?
Legal agreements not to discuss our settlement with the Hayward family over an unfortunate earlier incident in February of this year prevent me from addressing the above observation.
ReplyDeleteSuffice to say, our internship program is designed to provide a meaningful experience for all participants with an added emphasis of exposure to human oddities as an added benefit.