Thursday, August 9, 2012

Just so there is no misunderstanding.....

If you think there truly is nothing here of any importance and still came to check, I commend you: You really do need to get a life and obviously aren't afraid to admit it. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here. Writing this in advance 12 hours ago, the power of the internet allows me to schedule this to publish at a predetermined time. I am currently off on extended weekend for 4 days and am feverishly collecting and observing life to share with you later in new, stupid ways. In my absence of original thought, let me share these pilfered "Man Rules" as forwarded to me by Marv the Neighbor.

The Man Rules

We usually hear 'the rules' from the female side Now, here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered '1 ' ON PURPOSE!

  • 1. Men are NOT mind readers.
  • 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
  • 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
  • 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
  • 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
  • 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
  • 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
  • 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
  • 1. If it itches, it will be scratched.. We do that.
  • 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
  • 1. You have enough clothes.
  • 1. You have too many shoes.

    There. I think that covers it.

  • 2 comments:

    1. My guess is you did not run this by Mrs. Kfred before going to press. This gives a whole new meaning to THE LAST SUPPER!!!

      ReplyDelete
    2. Spoken like a man who will never have sex again. Ever.

      ReplyDelete

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