Today's pending FTI Family Easter Event and accompanying Beer Garden plaza have me more than a bit concerned. As chronicled earlier, I was out-voted by the cheap-assed Board of Directors in even conducting this event, so, have adopted the " if-you-can't-beat'em-join'em" attitude in observing this fiasco. I will be testing the beer in the plaza behind a set of dark glasses and fake mustache disguise and wish to have absolutely no association with this event.
A few observations so far:
1. The Rat Bastard G, communicating on an old model, poor quality, cell phone provided by our infamous IT department , the most reviled department here at FTI, mistakenly heard the request to "pick up 5 dozen chicken eggs" as "5 dozen chicken legs" and purchased the same.
2. Gummo, the Balloon Boy, fully regaled in his paper chef's hat, cheerfully decided to go ahead and boil the legs anyway under the guise of "the show must go on". This is of course, is in direct conflict with the fact that there is no practical way to dye cooked chicken legs.
3. Marv the Neighbor is pouting because he didn't get to deep-fry the chicken legs.
Surveying the compound as I write this, I note that the Misfits are constantly shooing away 2 stray dogs, one cat, and reminding Dickey the Peap not to touch, while hiding the chicken legs. In addition, I have noted a few raccoons and a circling hawk attracted by the cooked meat.
Like most family Easter events, I am sure this one will be remembered for a long time. I just hope it's not for the wrong reasons.
No matter how hard I try not to, I laugh at this stuff. I may need serious counseling.
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