Dial 911 only in emergencies

I enjoyed a lunch and a game of golf with Dickey the Peap the other day. And, of course, I paid. To be accurate, I paid for lunch and the beer on the course. The little miser did claim to pay for my greens fees, but, I do suspect he probably browbeat the guy in the proshop so much that he let two of us play for the price of one just to get rid of him. Regardless, we played a round of golf and had an enjoyable afternoon.

During our play, Dickey did relate a story to me that I found to be very ironic. He and Mrs. Peap are doing some updating in their own home and were collecting bids for some new shades and window treatment accessories. A woman from a national chain store came to their house, did the appropriate measurements, and gave them a bid of well over $10K to do the various windows. Obviously, the poor woman didn't know whom she was dealing with and immediately suspected a medical case as the frugal one immediately developed profuse sweating, rapid heart beat, and shortness of breath. Suspecting an imminent heart attack, she immediately dialed 911 to summon medical assistance as she was sure our boy was going to die as he couldn't speak or make any coherent sense while trying to communicate and then suddenly passed out. Upon examination by emergency medical personnel, it was determined to be another  false alarm and nothing more than a good scare. The medical professionals on the scene noted in their call logs that this was another response to this same address as the countless ones performed before.  As a result, they have made a note  for use by the dispatchers when concerning any future emergency calls at this location:  AMMONIA CAPSULES USELESS WHEN USED TO REVIVE PATIENT;  PATIENT INSTANTANEOUSLY RESPONDS TO ROLLED DOLLAR BILLS , INSTEAD.  SUGGEST PERSONNEL FIRST STOP AT BANK WHEN RESPONDING TO THIS LOCATION.